I'd not been here for sometime, it's time! We have a short story contest in our Cognizant Blogs, conducted by one of the legends here in CTS. Win or lose, This is my 3rd attempt to pin a short story. The theme has to involve a-human-animal-interaction and so, here it goes. Don't forget to leave your feedback!
He got used to that loneliness. It was one of the times you know, when everyone around you are suddenly getting married and you seem to be the only bachelor in your group! He never did mind that. Blogs always kept him occupied and now all of a sudden, he got a serious warning for going into the blogosphere very frequently. Ofcourse, he was out of control. What would he do when he has no work to do and still had to spend about 9 hours in the office? One may call him unlucky. Because, as soon as he opens the blog page, say after spending a dreadful 4 hours of e-learning (during that time no soul would notice him) his manager would suddenly pop up and ask “How’s it goin?” Embarrassing isn’t it? That’s how it started for him. He’s now unofficially banished from the blogosphere during office hours and only during his personal hours he went into that glorious world.
It was one of those loneliest times. He was lying on his bed and reading some blogs when he heard some sound in the hall. What the hell? Karthic and Rajesh are out of town and will be back only by the morning! Who is making noise in the hall? Being so innocent, he used fear for almost all that is fearable for a child. ‘Did I leave the TV on?’ was his first thought. Nah, there’s no static sound, it was a voice alright. He heard more sounds and it looked like someone was talking to someone. Whoa, more than one ghost? ‘Holy mother, bless me!’ he thought and opened his bedroom door. The voice was clearer now and he could hear his name in between. He could not see anyone in the hall, yet the voice seemed to be coming inside his house. He stepped inside the hall and looked around. The voices stopped in between and started once again. “I know, he’s so lazy! Just look at his hair style, the old fashioned way. I would have never passed a glance at him!” said a girl.
He turned around and saw nothing. Yet, the voice was clear. He slowly opened the main door. “Hey, he’s coming outside, let’s go!” said the girl voice and a male voice now followed “Why? As if he can hear us!”
“Hello” he said. “Who’s talking?”
“Look, he’s talking as if he can hear us! Wait, probably he’s talking to the phone!” said the male voice and the female voice followed “Let me check”
At that point, he turned around to see who’s checking him out! He went as far as the gate and came back immediately after finding no soul in the area! The voices seemed to have stopped somehow. “God, I’m going
mad! I should stop seeing series, probably!” said to himself.
“In his dreams! I bet he’d never stop watching series. He has become too addictive and only a divine intervention can save him!” said the female voice.
He turned white as soon as he heard that. “Goddamnit who the hell are you? Why the hell are you talking hiding? Come out your little piece of s**t! You wanna piece of me? Come get it!” he shouted and immediately regretted. ‘Why the hell did I ask the ghost to appear?’ he thought. There was a silence as if the couple actually heard his yelling.
Male: “Do you think he can hear us?”
Female: “I don’t think so. But, he talks as if he can hear us!”
“I can hear you, alright. Now tell me where are you and who are you?” he said in a voice that’s neither authoritative nor scared.
Silence.
Female: “Let’s check. Do you think he can answer what’s 2 times 2?”
“It’s 4, Goddamit. For God’s sake, I’ve a Master’s degree in Mathematics!”
Male: “So, he really can hear us!”
“Now tell me where the hell are you and who the hell are you”
Two frogs came out of the dark hollow space just below the stairs and jumped near his feet. He jumped back, almost hitting the back of his head against the wall.
“Whoa, watchout!” said the male.
“What the f**k?” he said.
“What the what?” asked the female.
“Am I talking to a Frog?”
“It’s weird, isn’t it! I can’t believe you can hear us. So, what’s up?” said the male.
“I’m talking to a Fu****g Frog! I’m going Fu****g crazy!”
“And I’m talking to a human! Relax man! What do you think they’ll think of me when I say this to my friends?”
“Ok, take a deep breath, deep breath. I’m talking to a Frog. Ok, *Sigh*. Do you know my name?”
“Yes. I also know that you stay with Karthic and Rajesh” said the female.
“How do you know about us?”
“We stayed here for the last 1 year. You’ve been here for the last 6 months.” said the Female again.
“Ok, so how does this work? I’ve heard stories of talking frogs. Do I have to kiss you and make you a princess and I marry you and…”
“Whoa, hold your horses human! You’re talking about my wife here. You take one step closer to her and you’ll be splashed with all the juices I got – if you know what I mean” jumped in the male.
“Ok, cool down ma- err… Frog! I’m not going to kiss or take away your wife, ok? Sorry, I don’t know how to start a conversation with a frog!”
“And, you think we used to talk to humans regularly, huh? I have the same weird feelings as you have. Now, stop thinking about my wife!”
“Ok, ok. Let’s talk about something else. Aha, I heard you guys were talking about me. What were you talking?” he sat down on his Shine.
“We know you for quite some time. You have absolutely no sense of dressing and no sense of appearance. My wife said that she’ll never pass a glance at ya even if she were a human!”
“Yeah, that’s the part I heard! You must be happy that your girl chooses to stay away from me!”
“They call me Rango and this is my wife Mango – I named her after a fruit which I like most!”
“Oh, Rango as in “The Rango”? Err… Never mind. That was a Chameleon”
“I know ‘The Rango’. That’s the reason I choose my name as Rango. You seemed to think you know everything and we as frogs don’t know anything!”
“Err – that’s not really what I – uh, intended when I said never mind. I just thought you might not have known about that movie. Err… and I never thought you know about what’s a ‘movie’. Sorry!”
“Hmmm. You are honest. Know that we do watch movies. I watched Rango two years back at Sathyam. It was hard to get pass the securities, but once you’re in, no-one will notice ya! I don’t miss movies starring non-human beings!”
“Wow, did you just say Sathyam?”
“You heard him. I saw ‘Tangled’ when I was young. And I always wanted to marry a Chameleon after that heroic work by Pascal to kill the evil mother! I later saw The Rango and married Rango a year back!”
“Wow, that’s the most intelligent statement that I heard in this week” he smirked.
“We understand Sarcasm” said the male.
“What? Ho- Aw man, I need to treat you as a fellow human being. Sorry Mango! No offense!”
“None taken. You obviously never had been in love!”
“That’s right ma’am”
“You will one day. It is a wonderful feeling.”
“So I heard! Hey, have you guys seen the ‘Ratatouille’? I’d love to have one ‘Little Chef’ with me!”
“Hmmm. You name an animal movie and we’d have seen that!”
“How about ‘Frogs’?”
“The 1972 horror film? Yes, and by the way, it’s a crap movie!”
“Wow, you guys are awesome!”
“I know. Coming back to what we were talking about you – you can be better looking if you change a little bit of your personal looks. It’s the first step you should do to get noticed.”
“Oh! I’ve tried changing myself, but nothing worked!”
“The way your comb your hair, it’s like I see Ramarajan in an old Tamil movie”
“Oh, that bad?”
“Terrible. Your hair looks like an oil factory. Stop using oil and try combing all the hair towards the back. Grow more hair and stop cutting it once in a month. Trim your stupid mustache. Don’t think yourself as Virumandi!”
“Whoa. Now, wait a minute. I don’t think myself as Virumandi! And – I…”
“I don’t give a damn. You wanna be noticeable, hear what Rango has to say!”
“Ok, go on”
“Throw your shoes into the farthest dustbin that you’ll ever see and buy some new. Preferably Red Tape and Adidas”
“Yeah, I was in that shoe once and I had the worst ever fever for a week!” said Mango.
“Whoa, do you know how much is a Red Tape?”
“About 2500 bucks. Go on, spend it! It’s one time expenditure and its worth when compared to your stupid other spending”
“Point taken”
“I know you iron your shirts, but try buying quality shirts. The ones that you use are useless craps”
“uh-huh” by this time, he took out his Android phone and started taking notes.
“How old are you?” asked Rango.
“I thought you knew everything about me”
“I know your age. You look like you’re 35. Try changing the color of your hair”
“You know, if my grandmother were alive, she’d kill me for even thinking about it” said Mango.
“Yeah, that sort of thing happens with our girls as well Mango. Don’t worry, things have changed!” he said.
“Try these and you’ll be noticed immediately. Be positive in your thoughts. Try changing your attitude towards the people in your workplace who hate you.”
“Wow, you really know me!”
“There’s one more advice. I know you watch a lot of series and movies. I also know you started them because you wanted to strengthen your communication skills. But, there should be an end to all of this. You sleep at 2 every night and wake up at 9 every day. That’s not how a normal human being lives.”
“…”
“Stop all those and try to sleep before 10. Wake up at 5 in the morning, do some exercise, be fit.”
“You know what, you’re right. I’d been thinking of changes, but I never actually initiated one.” he said.
“Hmmm, let’s see. I need a favor from you as well”
“You seem to know everything! How can I be of any help?” he said eyeing Mango.
“The favor does not involve you kissing my wife and she becoming a princess”
“Alright! Man, you’re a mind reader! No kisses, I promise.”
“Tell your friend Karthic to stop trying to kill us!”
“hahaha… Don’t worry. He’s allergic to almost all animals in the earth! I’ll talk to him.”
“Ok, it’s a good bye for now, then. It’s time for us to sleep!” said the male.
“Yeah, I’m going to pinch myself to see if it’s a dream?”
“You never told me what’s the meaning for the word you kept on yelling” asked Mango.
“Which word?”
“I think it’s Fu****g or F**k”
“Err…”
The next morning, he woke up and found Karthic sitting in the hall, seemingly very happy. Karthic was actually surprised to see him so early in the morning!
“Hey, you’re up early!” said Karthic.
“Hmmm. Gonna try some exercise from today. What keeps you in such a good mood in an early Monday morning?”
“You know those irritating frogs that we used to have here – I finally managed to kill them!”
“What!?!?!”
PS1: If you haven’t noticed, the human who talks with the frogs’ name would not be mentioned in the story.
PS2: I’ll come back and write one in Tamil soon.
PS3: One may ask how can a frog, who see English movies, doesn’t know what’s “F**K”. Let’s just assume she watched *BEEP* sound when the word was pronounced!
